Letting go of control might be the hardest thing cancer ever asks of you — especially if you have spent your whole life being the person who figures things out. I know, because I was that person. And the truth I had to learn, the same one figure skater Scott Hamilton had to learn, is that some things are simply bigger than our ability to manage them.
This is a companion to our latest episode, and I want to talk directly about the thing sitting underneath so much of our fear on this journey: control, and what happens when we finally release it.
WHY LETTING GO OF CONTROL FEELS LIKE LOSING
For driven, capable people, control is not a bad word. It is how we have solved problems and built our lives. However, cancer does not respond to effort the way a project or a career does. You cannot out-work it or out-plan it, and that collision is one of the hardest spiritual moments a strong-willed person can face.
Here is what I have come to believe: letting go of control is not the same as giving up. Giving up says nothing matters. Letting go of control says something entirely different — it says God matters more than my grip on the outcome. That is not surrender to the cancer. Rather, it is surrender to the One who is far bigger than the cancer.
GOD AS A RELATIONSHIP, NOT A RESOURCE
For years, Scott Hamilton prayed the way a lot of us do — in the pressure moments, in the fear, treating God as a resource he could reach for when his own strength ran low. It was real, but it was partial. Then his wife took his hands and prayed over him after a brain tumor diagnosis, and something broke open. He described it as the most powerful moment of his life.
What changed was not the size of his problem. What changed was that he stopped holding God at arm's length and stepped into an actual relationship. That is the shift letting go of control makes possible. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."
All your heart — not just the emergencies.
WHAT LETTING GO OF CONTROL ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE
Maybe you are wondering how you even begin. Let me give you a few honest starting points.
First, name what you are gripping. Be specific with God about the outcome you are terrified to release — the scan, the prognosis, the future of the people you love. Letting go of control starts with admitting how tightly you have been holding on.
Second, hand it over out loud. There is something powerful about actually praying it: "God, I've been fighting, and I'm tired. Take this. Take all of it." Scott's whole awakening started with a prayer that simple.
Third, keep coming back. Letting go of control is rarely a one-time event. Honestly, most days it is a repeated choice, sometimes hour by hour. But every time you release your grip, you discover that the peace of Philippians 4:6-7 — the peace "which transcends all understanding" — was waiting on the other side.
Scott Hamilton faced three brain tumors and still called them "strengthening times." That is not the language of a man fighting for control. Rather, it is the language of a man who finally trusted the God who was holding him — and, as Romans 8:28 promises, watched God work in all of it.
If you have never really made that decision, or you have believed in God generally but never given Him all of it, you can start today. The Accepting Jesus page on our site will walk you through it.
No matter what you are facing on your journey with cancer or in life, remember: you are NEVER ALONE. Jesus and the Holy Spirit are always with you and ready to help. All you have to do is ask, give it all to Jesus, and let Him go to work. May God bless you — and thank you for reading.
LISTEN TO THE PODCAST — The Night I Finally Stopped Fighting God - Scott Hamilton Story